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Ever Wonder What "Free Offers" Really Means?

Well, We Did Too.
And, Just Like The Old Film Noir Private Eyes, We Pull Back The Covers And Show You Just What Our Investigations Found...

The Way It All Began...
(Wailing blues saxaphone heard here)

      I couldn’t really tell what I had gotten myself into. But, it was never meant to turn out this way.

      If you’re here reading this, I’m not sure how you came to find this place. No one was supposed to know of it. It was totally a simple inside job, until...

      As I contemplated the thought, I tilted my head and leaned the unlit cigarette into the flame coming from the Zippo’s perforated chimney. The act was so familiar that it was second nature, which was probably best since my mind was not on tobacco. I thumbed closed the cap on the lighter and the metallic snap echoed off the bare brick walls in the alleyway.
      I inhaled.
      It hadn’t been an hour since the sun disappeared below the horizon beyond the Golden Gate, yet there was already a chill. I shrugged so the upturned collar of my trench coat pulled tighter around the back of my neck. At the same time I jerked down the brim of my fedora. The California eddy was especially fierce, even on a night in May. My mood was just as deep as the marine layer and twice as cold. Just then, this fact was punctuated by the distant, high-to-low bellow of a fog horn somewhere along the Bay front.
Moo-o-o-o waah.

Flashback

      It had all started innocently enough, that day about a month ago. “What do you think, Eddie?” asked the possessor of the deepest gray-green eyes I had ever seen. It took me a moment to realize she was speaking directly to me. I struggled out of the twin whirlpools to answer, “About what, darling?”
      She bristled at the familiarity. “About the free offers that are all over the web,” she replied in a terse scold. “Didn’t you hear what I’ve been saying?”
      “Eh, trying to, baby, but I guess my mind was elsewhere.”
      “Oh, Eddie, stop that! And, answer my question!”
      “Sure thing, doll. Will you ask it again?”
      She let out a huge sigh of exasperation which did wonderful things to the silk blouse she was wearing. “I want you to tell me if you think all of those free offer giveaways have hidden catches. Do you think they’re really as free as they say they are?”
      I lifted a forefinger and opened my mouth to answer, then stopped in mid-intake. My hand continued up so my thumb caught the underside front brim of my fedora to push it back on my head. “Well, it’s hard to say...”
      “That sounds like a dodge, Eddie. It’s a simple question.”
      “Well, I know, baby, but it would take a little legwork through these sites to find out. You know…before I could give a definitive answer, I’d have to do a little investigating. After all, I only...”
      “Oh, would you, Eddie?” she gushed. “I was hoping you’d offer to help!”
      I sat up quickly. “Offer? Wait, darling, I was only...”
      “Oh, thank you so much, Eddie!” She grabbed me around the neck and gave me a hug. After that, all resistance became nonexistent.

Initial Report

      A couple of weeks later, we were back in my office. She was reading the report I had just pulled from the carriage of my Underwood. As she read, a worried crease appeared above her brow. It just made her look that much more spectacular.
      After she finished reading, she lowered the paper and stared out the window past the reverse lettering, “sIP ainrofilaC”.
      After a moment, she spoke. “Wow, this is the kind of information that people looking for web bargains ought to know about. Can you do something, Eddie?”

      And, that’s how it all began.
      I ground the exhausted butt into the cobblestones.
      It was all just an innocent favor for a good-looking blonde. And now look at us. Our own investigative web site for internet free offers.
      Moo-o-o-o wah.

OK now, all kidding aside, what's the real purpose of the free offer site? Click here to find out.

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